It's another day this summer; the first summer I've been away from home. I am at the end of this summer. I am here through no fault but my own. Slacking in class and dropping courses during winter and spring quarters have left me with 3 courses per summer session to make up in order to obtain my degree at the end of this academic year. This, however, is not what I would like to discuss.
As I sit here, watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, I'm watching a gardener carefully remove brown leaves from the foliage outside. Prior to that, a worker with a weed whacker trimmed the hedges which had been trimmed only the day before. Noting the unnecessary amount of work going to maintain the landscape here, I thought to myself "what a futile goal."
Nature will always work against you in this pursuit. You can never have heaven on earth. Even if you try to do so, it will be the heaven of few and the hell of many. These are the rules and workings of this life. |
This has got to be the most interesting "relationship" experience I've had by far. Knowing that it's not going anywhere, that I don't want it to go anywhere, purposely getting myself into troublesome situations.
All out of boredom. What can I say? I'm a troublemaker. And I'm bored!
The great thing is that I don't expect anything of substance to come of this. I'm just there. There in mind and body, but my spirit is anywhere else. I'm almost 100% sure she's in the same state. She asked me not to make her cry. I figured this to be a formality. I don't know. I'm glad Laura put everything into perspective for me. If she hadn't explained the glaring and obvious faults in my emotional attachment to this girl, I would have been suckered into a non-existent love, not to mention a limited adventure in fun and another long chapter of depressive states. I never thought I'd be in a "pass the time" relationship. Now, the question is, how far can this go before it blows up. I think out of anything, I'm most interested in this endeavor as sort of a personal experiment.
I am an asshole. I think of myself first. Is that so bad? But in all honesty, I am looking out for her. I have kept her in my mind, made sure she's feeling fine, ensuring her emotional stability. But you can only do so much. Why I say this is because I'm coming off as so exploitative of her. But really, it's mutual. Everything around it is a facade for the sake of social normality. Ironic, because this is anything but normal.
I am an experience junky, and this experience is completely novel to me. If anything productive comes from this, it will be that I can understand complicated relationships. This has got to be, by far, the most complicated friendship/relationship I've known.
The trick now is to know where to set limits. There should be no irreversible mistakes to make from this experiment of mine.
A few years back I told myself I would never enter into a fling. Here I am now.
Pure product of patience.
Entertainment.
This isn't containment.
It will result in payment.
You say you hate it.
I figure we made it.
I mean it's only blatant.
Emotionally latent.
It's seriously late in.
This game is complaining.
These eyes did some raining.
Now time is for gaining.
I see it as training.
We'll see what's remaining.
Once we work on maintaining.
Trust we are ascertaining.
Sociological straining.
Too convoluted for explaining.
Too far gone for sustaining.
I swear this is so draining.
But oh so entertaining.
Refraining.
Pure product of patience.Current Music: Nujabes - Luv [sic] part 3 |
I've got my eye on you, don't you disappoint. Time is short.Current Music: Wolfmother - Mind's Eye |
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May. 25th, 2008 @ 05:29 am
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I wish sleep was not a requirement. It is such a waste of time. |
so i took my first wilderness crap last weekend. on sunday to be precise (or was it saturday? cant remember now) anyways, a bunch of us went out to eat at Vine Ripe which is a little south of La Jolla. ate there and then Habib and Aaron wanted to check out this one mountain top which is a typical visitor location. there's a church on the top of it and all. so we're walking up the road to the top and all of a sudden im like, awww no, i gotta go. so i think i can hold on for a bit but man i really had to go. there's no bathroom around and im in some good discomfort. so after a while i walk off into the dark (this is at night by the way) and find a secluded spot and do my business. i kind of naturally knew what to do i guess. there was tall grass laying around so i grabbed a bunch of that and used it to clean up. the entire ordeal was hilarious to me. anyways, i joined up with everyone else and nobody was the wiser. for some reason i felt a sense of accomplishment for taking that dump. ahhhh how my mind works in mysterious ways.
now it was a great thing that i did take that crap cuz after we went to the first mountain, Aaron decided his caravan should go on a hike. so Othman, Deen, Hashim and I were in for the hike by default. Othman and I complained for the first 10 mins then just gave in. Hashim started tripping, literally, so he took off his sandals and went barefoot. that kid is crazy. took us about 45 mins to get to the top and Othman gave athan (call to prayer). and then like a dumb ass i decided to shout "i got a wedgie!" all of a sudden some guy out in the dark starts praying in spanish and we get freaked out for a moment till Aaron explains that he's a christian making prayer. this is at 11ish at night, mind you. we thought we were alone on the top of this mountain. turns out we had company. there were 3 other guys with him lying down. Othman wanted to talk to the guy but as soon as we drew near Aaron told us he started asking God to protect him from evil people so we took that as a sign and just said "peace be upon you" and left. by this time the fog rolled onto the mountain which was an amazing thing to be in. i cannot explain how much i love the fog. on the way down we talked about personal lives and Islam. it was really really nice. i loved it a lot.
so all in all, a very good weekend. glad i took the time to write about it.
oh yea, it was saturday. now i remember. we were supposed to get back to our apartment by 11ish to get a lan party going but ended up home at around 2. |
| » I have been sleeping too much |
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And what a waste of life it has been. But will I learn? Oh I wish I would.
I was inspired to write some poetry...take it with a grain of salt.
Walk and Wave - Waking Life
Sleep eats away at my life
Like thousands of butterflies
Emerging from fields of rice
Green and peacefully I shut my eyes
And just like that I’m back in bed
Taking time for granted
Like this life wasn’t gifted
Like the kids who just drifted
And nobody knows where they are now
Far out and far gone
Oh, I am so scared of the truth
That we could have wasted youth
That we have been just let loose
Preying on the victims of circumstance
And talk is all we’ve done
Wake with blue skies softly coasting by
Making shapes out of the clouds
We spend our days in dreams
So what’s to wake if always in sleep?
And I am asked to chase my dreams
hope whoever reads this liked it.
Feb. 29th, 2008 @ 02:43 am
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| » RO Water - Another American Epdiemic |
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Reverse Osmosis: What is it and why is it bad for you?
So my dad is very passionate about this issue and by default, I am as well (through means of him explaining it's importance). It's important to know how big an issue this is and how drastically it effects the general populous so that they themselves may gather interest and thusly educate each other of it's significance. Most (or all) commercial water distribution systems/centers employ the use of reverse osmosis in purifying tap water into drinking water. Many of these facilities will openly and sometimes proudly advertise this fact to their consumers. What they do not advertise are the effects the water has on the human body.
Now, in order to understand how RO (reverse osmosis) water affects the human body. We need to clarify a few things. Firstly, the term "pure" is wildly overused in and out of context with many products given to the American public. On the subject of water, "pure" must be used carefully as the connotation and denotation differ drastically. Connotatively, pure water is or should refer to mineral water. However, the denotative meaning of pure water refers to just H2O. For clarity, I will refer to pure water as H2O and clean water as good drinking water.
Anyways, RO water would come into the category of pure water. For those who are interested enough to research the subject themselves, they will find that RO water is, in fact, one process away from DI (distilled) water. Why is this important? Distilled water is used in fabrication labs to clean wafers (just one of its many uses). English? On a molecular level, DI water sucks minerals from any surface that will freely give it's ions away to. Translation: DI water is VERY thirsty for minerals.
So how does RO water come into play here? As RO water is only one step away from DI water, it exhibits the same behavior as DI water but on a less violent scale. The problem, though, is that it still exhibits this behavior. The human body is rich with minerals and needs to remain this way in order to function in a healthy manner. Imagine drinking DI water for a week. This would essentially strip a significant amount of minerals from your body as the water passed through your system. You would inevitably get sick and/or die. Remember that all things in nature tend to want to return to their natural state. DI and RO water are not natural states of water. Spring water (mineral water) is. So in order for these two liquids to regain their natural states, they must steal something from their surrounding environment: minerals. Where do they get them from? Your body, of course.
Some people claim that RO water tastes "cleaner" or "better." The fact of the matter is, it could just as well taste like cherry coke but it will still harm you. As RO water isn't as detrimental as DI water would be and the fact that you eat food which contains minerals to offset the effect of RO water, you may not feel an immediate effect from drinking it. This boils down to a personal choice of lifestyle.
In truth, it is actually healthier to use Brita filter from your tap water than drink the RO water from your local water store. Who'd have known?
If you prefer to live eating synthetic foods like mac and cheese and Campbell soup, by all means drink RO water. We'll be sure to jog past the cemetery in which your body will lie 5 years ahead of its expiration date. On the other hand, if you know the rule of junk-in junk-out, you should refrain from drinking RO water and look for alternatives such as home filtration systems available at your local hardware store or trustworthy spring water distributors.
Now you know.
Feb. 19th, 2008 @ 01:43 am
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